You were the one who had it together.
The organised one. The capable one. The “I’ll just push through” one.
You smashed working weeks, colour-coded your calendar, remembered everyone’s birthdays, and maybe even ironed pillowcases once upon a time (this is how I learnt to iron)
Then came motherhood.
And suddenly, your usual toolkit of over-preparing, staying busy and controlling outcomes was a thing of the past.
Now? You’re 13 tabs deep on Google at 3 a.m. and you’re silently losing your grip wondering why this feels so hard.
And if you’re being honest, the worst part isn’t the sleep deprivation or the blocked ducts.
It’s the voice in your head whispering:
“You should be better at this.”
“Other mums are coping.”
“You’re smart. Why are you drowning?
Here’s why: you were trained to perform. To excel. To always aim high. But there are no gold stars in motherhood. No neat KPIs. No one claps when you keep a baby alive on two hours sleep and your baby isn’t about to give you a glowing performance review.
So, if you’re spiralling quietly behind the scenes while projecting “fine” on the outside, know this:
You’re not broken. You’re just a high-achiever trying to mother in a world that doesn’t reward quiet endurance.
You don’t need to “get it right.” You need to find your people who get it. The ones who aren’t living through an Instagram highlight reel and can say- this is fucking hard.
You’re just doing something impossibly hard with invisible outcomes… and somehow still showing up.
Check on your mum friends. Check on the ones who appear to have it all together.